The Difference With Jesus – My Boyfriend’s Example

Life is hard. We have struggles. There is hardship. We experience grief and stress. We live in a fallen world and it’s evident every single day.

And yet there’s a remarkable difference in the attitude of people who go through these times with Jesus as opposed to without. You can think of persecuted Christians around the world who remain strong, even to the end.

I was thinking yesterday about my boyfriend and how the hope of Jesus shines in his life. He has been going through some tough times this year with his children. He loves his kids so much. But there is tremendous hardship there for him. So much that other parents I know who learn of his situation often say, “oh man, I don’t think I could cope with that at all.”

But my boyfriend does and he does it with faith. It isn’t that he doesn’t feel the pain, but in the pain he feels hope. He feels belief that things will work out. He gets peace and comfort from the Lord that is not found anywhere else.

Even in his worst times (and he has described this as one of the hardest things he’s had to cope with), there is joy for him. There is peace. There is evidence of something bigger working in his life.

There is life with purpose that rises above stress and anxiety. There are tears at times, but then there is hope. He knows that he walks this earth both loved and heard by his Creator. That even though he doesn’t know what the outcome will be he trusts that it will work out.

It’s a hard thing to watch, of course…the human struggle with heartache. But it’s beautiful and inspirational to see someone not just say words about their faith but that it makes a tangible, observable impact in their life.

We all struggle. Life is full of anxiety and uncertainty and sadness. But with Jesus we can walk it with hope and peace that comes from knowing Jesus has already overcome this world.

Toxic Communication

I haven’t shut up since I was about a year old. One might say I’m loquacious. Others might just say I’m annoying. However, you cannot argue, I’m an experienced communicator.

For whatever it’s worth, I also have a master’s degree in business management with a specialization leadership and communication. Not just communication, but strategic communication. Effective communication.

One thing we investigated thoroughly was how assertive communication is always, always, ALWAYS the correct way. Never passive, aggressive or passive aggressive. One way or another those three strategies will either become ineffective, or worse, toxic.

For communication to be truly effective it has to be transparent, direct and respectful of the receiver. And that is basically the definition of assertive communication.

So then why is it we so often resort to the other three?

One example is the silent treatment. This is a common and extremely toxic form of communication. It’s manipulative. It’s disrespectful. It is opaque. I’ve been the victim of this in the past. It forces the party you’re “communicating” with to make assumptions and then make decisions without clarity to your thoughts. It pushes people away. And yet, you often see this especially in marriages. Just the place where communication is most important, people will do the worst thing. It’s wrong, and it’s lazy.

Another you see is sarcastic jabs, wrapping a “message” in a supposed joke. Funny, you see this a lot in marriage, too. Instead of just having a direct conversation about something bothering or hurting you, you couch it in a rude joke. You fling it at the other person when they are least expecting it and maybe in a position where they can make no defense.

I’ve been divorced, so I well know all the ways communication can fail. And even if I’m not the one failing to communicate well, everyone loses when the communication is passive, aggressive or passive aggressive.

And the danger is that poor communication becomes a habit. It becomes the normal cadence of a relationship. It becomes very hard to change. And eventually creates an environment so toxic and damaging that people give up.

Many people get stuck in a toxic cycle of bad communication because it was all they had modeled to them. But the key is knowing that at any time – even in this moment – you can break that cycle. Maybe with a spouse or a family member. Maybe a coworker or a boss. But you can break the cycle. You can be empowered.

I have learned how to do this better. At my house, I will admit “that hurt my feelings.” I will admit “I know that hurt you and I’m sorry.” I will admit “this is what I need from you.” And I will say “I love you and more than being right, I want things to be right with you.”

And we must acknowledge that when we choose not to be effective communicators that we are in the wrong. And that we are at least partly responsible for the outcome of that choice.

3 Years of Lifting Heavy

This month marks 3 years since I reversed my fitness strategy. Prior to this change, I’d been a fan of light weights and tons of cardio. I was in pretty good shape and had good endurance, but was unhappy with how slowly my body composition was changing.

I started following a fitness coach on social media, Jordan Syatt, who put out enough free content for me to become educated about how to change my approach. I learned how combining heavy weights and high protein would help me get leaner and stronger, build more defined muscles, reduce my body fat percentage, and so on.

My fitness journey has come in layers like a pyramid. In 2016, I began tracking calories. Through this I lost weight in a sustainable way, and kept it off long term. I did not worry about macros. But by achieving a very healthy weight I mitigated some issues associated with my PCOS.

In October 2019, I started tracking my macros. I made sure I wad prioritizing protein and also trying to get more fat. I ate in a calorie deficit but began lifting as heavy as I could and before long I could see changes happening that I’d never seen before. In my fitness log, my first day of dead lifting had me lifting less than 100lbs. In 2020 I hit 300lbs and in 2021 I hit 330lbs.

All while keeping my own weight down.

In 2022 I’ve focused more now on building another layer on that pyramid. I’m focused also on micronutrients. Getting enough iodine, magnesium, selenium, and so on. Taking a holistic approach to healing my body. Using turmeric and omega 3 to manage inflammation. I’ve also had several non- gym related injuries to overcome this year (7 months with bicep tendinitis, and then re-injuring my tailbone and getting hip bursitis from excessive cycling), but have learned how to keep moving forward even while taking care of myself.

To celebrate I put together a fun little video of my years of progress. There has been some criticism about how I’ve changed my body and my goals but the fact is, I’m extremely happy with this. I’ve surrounded myself with people who celebrate strength with me. I am also invigorated and excited that whatever anyone thinks, I made this. I did it myself and I feel great in my own skin!

Zestt Wellness is LIVE in America!

After the past 2+ years of COVID, I’m shocked anyone still believes in pharmaceutical companies. More and more people are turning to herbal remedies to improve their health and treat their ailments.

My mom has partnered with Zestt Wellness, a New Zealand based natural wellness company. Co-founder, Darcy Schack began his journey to natural wellness when he was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, an inflammatory disease that primarily effects the lungs and for which there is no cure.

He partnered with an expert in plant bioactives to develop what is now the wellness line at Zestt Wellness. Together they developed their first in a line of remedies to help treat this condition, called Exhale.

Through use of this product he went from being on 15 prescriptions to manage his condition down to 5. A huge benefit to his health and quality of life.

This led to the development of several other products in their line, all herbal lozenges, that help remedy certain conditions. Testimonials have poured in from the folks in New Zealand who have used these various products to improve their health and their conditions.

And now these remedies are available to us as well!

These are not marketed as cures or treatments for any disease, however Darcy is currently considered in remission of his condition.

I personally am a huge advocate for natural and holistic health treatment. Through natural measures I have cured my own chronic illness. I believe strongly that God in His splendid creation gave us the things we need to be well. I’m pleased to support this new adventure for my mom and her partnership with this amazing, life changing company!

I Had PCOS…

I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). Had, as in, past tense. Several doctors assured me that it was incurable, chronic, and that I could manage symptoms with drugs but that I’d never be without it.

However, after living with PCOS for over a decade, I’ve been cured of it for several years.

How do I know I am cured? Because there is no symptoms or clinical testing that a new doctor can use to determine that I have ever had PCOS. Even my most recent primary care admitted (despite me ignoring his advice to continue taking metformin) that he could no longer diagnose me with PCOS.

I’m a healthy weight. I ovulate. I have clear skin. I no longer have acanthosis nigricans. My menstrual cycles are spot on regular at 28 or 29 days, and healthy. My cramps are diminished as well. My blood work is textbook.

But ten years ago none of that was true. I was infertile. I was in a constant battle to stay a healthy weight. I had hormonal acne badly. My periods were totally inconsistent and horrendous. My hormones were in improper ratios. I had dark skin patches on my neck and under my breasts (acanthosis nigricans).

I was in a battle with my body. A battle I was told I couldn’t win. But I won, and I don’t think it was a fluke.

I quit all hormonal treatment. No birth control to manage my cycles, no metformin. I learned about herbal supplements such as milk thistle. I began tracking my macros and lowering my carbs to between 150-200 grams a day. I switched to eating a high protein diet. I started weight lifting.

In a little over 6 months I’ll be 40 years old. And I’m my own woman, no longer in a battle with my body. I eat as clean as I can. I live as clean as I can. I avoid processed foods, seed oils, I eat a well balanced diet at maintenance or in a slight deficit (depending on my goal), and I celebrate my God given womanhood in the gym by being as strong of a beast as I can be.

I became an expert at the big things before I zeroed in on the details. I believe in walking, sunlight, lots of water and at least 8 hours of sleep. I believe in red meat and fish and eggs and yogurt.

And at the end of it all, I have room for chocolate and fun.

I live in a body I can celebrate. I live in a body I’m at peace with. And I live in a body that defies what the establishment medical industry told me was true.

I had PCOS. But now, I have freedom!

Don’t Eat Ze Bugs

The folks at the organizations that comprise the New World Order have said it: you’ll eat ze bugs. You’ll own nothing. You’ll be happy.

But then mainstream news and food companies started saying we should eat bugs. That it’s good for us and the environment. And that this is the future.

I live a fairly rigid dietary lifestyle between the things I can’t have due to sensitivities and the requirements of heavy lifting. So I’m tolerant of individual dietary preferences. Vegan, vegetarian, all meat, no dairy, whatever you want to do. But do not eat the bugs.

A great video by Greg Reece here makes a great case for why this is bad for the environment and for us.

In it, he discusses chitin, which is found in the exoskeleton of most insects. If you swallow a bug riding your bike, you’ll be fine. But if you consume chitin in large quantities, it is toxic. They know this. But they aren’t going to tell you.

Consuming chitin will lead to autoimmune disorders and the inability to suppress the development of cancer. It is bad.

They try to appeal to your humanity by telling you the planet also needs this sacrifice, but as Greg Reece explains, that is also wrong.

If you don’t want to eat meat for some reason or another – cost, health, preference, or you simply don’t eat things with faces – by all means. Live your best life. But don’t get sucked into eating the bugs.