“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm,” Proverbs 27:15 (NIV).

Women have so much to offer this world.  In the great history of humankind, women have stood up to achieve so much.  Some women give birth, some women go to battle.  Women have the soft and sensitive hearts to nurture others, but the backbone and strength to measure up to life’s heaviest burdens.  What a tragic circumstance that we live in a society where women think they are cuter and more fascinating if they are constantly sassy, snarky or sarcastic.

I say this because I know I can be guilty of this myself.  I often let a sharp remark overshadow my better nature.  This is not at all to say that I think women do not have value in being a little feisty.  I was not raised by a quiet, flimsy, powerless woman, nor was I raised by her to be one.  But how much stronger and more powerful I would be if I let my words be kind.  Especially with my husband and others who love me!

But how often do we see it – a woman who is genuinely friendly and sweet and greets everyone with a smile, but then turns to her husband in sarcasm for every reply.  Sometimes I think society tells us that it’s cute, that, “she doesn’t take any crap from anyone!”  Or, “she’s just so cute and sassy!”  But how awkward it is to be witness to these exchanges, unsure to laugh because she thinks she is funny, or grimace for the husband who is embarrassed.  You can be spunky without being unkind!

It is annoying.  It is annoying like a leaky roof in a rainstorm.  The kind of annoying that makes you cringe after a while.  This Proverb gives good counsel – as God’s Word is apt to do!  It is sage advice from ages ago, and proof that human nature is pretty much a guarantee.

This is not to say that I don’t think men have some work to do, too.  There is plenty advice about loving, cherishing and respecting women.  There is plenty to be said about unkind or cruel men.  As it is written, first let me remove the beam from my own eye before I try to remove the speck from theirs (Matthew 7:5 NIV).

There are times that call for strong words, but especially with my husband, those words should not be in front of an audience.  Let me show the respect that I would want to be shown to me, and save that for private conversation.  Some people live lives full of strife, contention, and conflict, but that is not what I want for myself.

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

The first day of summer always reminds me of the carefree summers I had between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, those days when I was truly off.  After that, even in high school, I always worked during summers (and all year) so it was never truly the same again.  I cannot think of them without thinking of the song “I Love You Always Forever” by Donna Lewis:

Every class and generation have their summer songs, but this will always be the one that I remember.

I will always feel so fortunate that my carefree summers happened before cell phones and social media.  I distinctly remember long days of sun tanned skin and the smell of chlorine, the stain of some sort of recently eaten snack on my fingers or clothes, and the laughter of my best friends.  Nowhere in it is there a memory of a phone or a computer, and all of those old pictures were taken on a film camera, developed at the end of summer so we could relive those memories again and again.

Kids back then were so fortunate in that way.  I’m not sure if the world truly was any safer back then, but it felt safer.  With the late northern Canadian sunsets in the summertime, I was allowed out to play in the parks and the soccer fields late into the evening and for long hours at a time, and then I\’d come home and write poetry or gossip with my friends as the sun set over the field across the street. 

When my friends wanted me, they picked up the phone and called, and not just to talk but to say, “Can you come out to play?”  We learned to roller blade and do “tricks” off of the steps, we climbed every tree in the neighborhood and made forts.  We had picnics sometimes, and heaven knows we couldn’t set an appropriate fire.  We either ate cold hot dogs or nearly burned the entire neighborhood down.

The start of summer always began with our ritual of the “burning of the homework” in the ravine – a trait I must have inherited from my father, because 40 years before I did it, he nearly burned down the ravine.  You knew summer had begun when a tower of smoke billowed high over the area, and you’d hear our girlish delight at being free once again.  One time an alarmed neighbor came running toward us and we had intended to deny everything, but my sheepish “we put it out” is still remembered and mocked in our circle of friends!

Twenty years later, I’d gladly burn my current homework all over again!

It has been my unfortunate experience to know a lot of judgmental fitness buffs.  You get excited because you think you are making a connection with someone over a common interest, but then you are sorely disappointed that you ever brought it up.  You know the types; I don’t have to tell you what they are like.  Whatever you are doing, it is wrong unless it’s what they are doing.  I call them fitness snobs.

I would consider myself a fitness novice in most ways.  Despite my commitment to Fitbit, my completed half marathons, and the fact that I can squat with over 160lbs on a bar in repetition, I am still learning.  To this day, I still have never run a full mile without stopping.  I struggle through classes like spin and step because of the strain they put on my knees.  I would be a fraud if I represented myself as a fitness expert.  I’m more of an enthusiast.  Fitness has become a part of my lifestyle – a necessity for me due to family history and my natural propensity to gain weight – it is something I do every day, like eating and sleeping.

That is why it is such a shame that people put others off with their abrasive and critical attitude to how other people do things.  Anyone who truly loves fitness should be pleased to see others trying, regardless of their level or their area of interest.  It benefits us as a society when people are striving to be active and healthy, as it keeps healthcare costs down. 

One of my favorite things about the running communities that I have been a part of since I started getting involved is the general feeling of acceptance.  I have hauled myself across the finish line of a race in nearly last place and had medal-winners there cheering for me!  What a feeling, to push myself past my own limitations, regardless of how poorly it compares to someone else, and to be cheered for achieving my goal!  What encouragement it is to do it again, and to do it better!  They are just happy we are out there. I have heard winners say, “six miles is just as far for you as it was for me!”  That is what keeps me coming back.

I am committed to encouraging others to make fitness a part of their lives, regardless of their level of ability.  The dog walkers at the park are doing more than the people who never do anything.  30 minutes is 2% of your day, and worthy of a commitment to improving your wellbeing.  It is not just physical, either.  Our mental and emotional wellbeing is improved by physical activity as well.  More importantly, I am committed to being there to cheer for someone else, to offer that encouragement, to help someone else achieve a goal or milestone in the way that others have helped me. Finally, to never look at someone and say, “You’re wasting your time if you don’t do what I’m doing.”

And I am committed to running that full mile someday!

“A ship in harbor is safe – but that is not what ships are built for.” John A. Shedd

It is sad that so many people go through life putting in their time at work to make a living, but never truly make a life.  They speak about the “someday” when they are going to travel, learn that language, or learn to skydive.  They are prisoners to a 40-hour work week (or often many more hours than that), come home to “rest” in front of the television, and then wake up and do it all again.  They let making a living become the purpose of their existence, wasting all of their other passions, skills, and interests outside of working and never letting those things reach their potential.

I was lucky that my parents set a different example for me.  When I was four years old and my sister was one, my parents bought a used RV, rented out their house for the cost of the mortgage payment, quit their jobs and we spent the next eighteen months touring western Canada, Mexico, and the United States.  My parents were far from wealthy, but they had a dream and they were not willing to wait for someday.  In the years when children my age may have been in preschool or kindergarten, I was learning to ride a bike alongside the Rio Grande, I was learning to read with the Pacific Ocean passing by outside my window, and I was learning to make friends with all kinds of different people.  I have distinct memories that shaped me as a person, lessons learned about how we get tricked into thinking what a “normal” life should be.

My parents had, up to that point, worked normal jobs, lived in a small house and paid their bills like everyone else.  But for them, that was not the fulfillment of their dreams.  On the road for over a year, they saw so many things, met so many interesting people and proved to themselves that it could be done.  Everyone said they were crazy, but in the end, they would have been crazy not to do it.  Less than six months after returning home, my dad had a stroke.  I bet they were grateful that they didn’t wait for someday to come along.

I think about myself and my passions and dreams, the whims I want to chase after, the people and causes that I want to help, and I know I am not built to stay safely in the harbor.  We all need to make a living; I have a mortgage and bills to pay just like most people.  But we are not filled with hopes and dreams, diverse personalities, talents, and a longing for purpose so that we can sit, untested and untried, in the harbors of our lives.  And yet most people do just that.

“This is your life, are you who you want to be?” This is Your Life, Switchfoot.

There is probably no one anywhere on this earth as enamored as I am with L. M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables.  I have read the entire Anne series no less than two dozen times, following young Anne Shirley from her neglected and wistful childhood through years of scrapes and adventures.  Anne goes from orphan to a much-loved figure in her adopted town of Avonlea, bright and studious, becoming a school teacher, and going on to get a degree from a university, finally becoming a wife and mother.  I read the first book when I was 10 years old, probably the first book I ever truly fell in love with, and in the years since have frequently revisited the series, finding so much hope and delight in those well-worn pages.

The Kevin Sullivan adaptation from the 1980s has its flaws, but there could have been no better Anne than Megan Follows.  Follows captures Anne’s spirit, her hopeful nature, her enduring dreams in the face of adversity.  Anne Shirley, according to the books, loves to “fly on the wings of anticipation” and Follows captures this perfectly.  In Anne, we see a wounded soul, but one who is so ready to see the good in the world, and bring her very best to it as well.

This is a popular topic right now because of the recently released Anne with an E Netflix series.  Amybeth McNulty is a believable Anne in her appearance for sure, perhaps more so than Megan Follows was, with the red hair, freckles and pale skin.  However, for viewers hoping to see a true recreation of L. M. Montgomery’s beloved books, this series will prove disappointing.

The casting is excellent.  Geraldine James and R. H. Thompson are spot on as Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert, and the filmography is superior to the 30-year old Kevin Sullivan version.  But this version depicts a different Anne than what we see in the books.  This is not a hopeful Anne, always seeing the best in the world around her.  McNulty’s Anne is cynical, sometimes petulant, and often negative.  It is an attitude one might expect from a child who had her sad history, but it misses the point of Montgomery’s Anne.  What made Anne so special was her unlikely response to her difficult past, her deliberate choice to see the best in the world.  Montgomery has Anne saying, “Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about?  It just makes me glad to be alive—it’s such an interesting world.”  That is the Anne we fell in love with in the books.

To a person unfamiliar with the books, Anne with an E is probably a realistic and lively story about country life in beautiful eastern Canada, and an orphan struggling against all odds to make her place in this world.  It depicts the transformation of Marilla’s reserved and unaffectionate nature into a woman of compassion and love.  It depicts Gilbert Blythe’s fascination with the young, red-headed orphan who is smarter than the other girls.  It depicts Matthew Cuthbert’s inherent kindness and compassion.  But it misses the mark on why Anne was so special.  Perhaps watching a series of strife and continual conflict is more likely to be commercially successful than seeing a young girl choose to make the world a better place.  And I think there have been some great moments in Anne With an E, but overall, I am disappointed to see my literary childhood hero warped slightly; still imaginative, still curious, but without that winning optimism that life is what we choose to make it.

“Dear old world…you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.” – Anne of Green Gables

Today is my 3 year Fitbit anniversary!

It’s funny to think now how I hesitated over buying one in the first place.  Did I really need a Fitbit?  Wasn’t I already pretty sure how active I was?  Will I even wear it all the time?  But then I finally coughed up the $100 to get the original Fitbit Flex.  Once it arrived, I have never been without a Fitbit since!

It wasn’t long before I upgraded to a Charge, and then to a Surge, and then bought the Blaze that I still wear today.  I can tell you my step count and sleep quality for every day in the past 3 years.  I learned quickly how active I wasn’t.  Thinking that because I regularly exercise meant I am overly active, I soon realized I didn’t just automatically hit 10,000 steps each day.  Often, it required a little extra effort to ensure the step goal was met.

Then they added the challenges.  I recall early days in a Workweek Hustle challenge with friends and coworkers how I would spend my Friday nights listening to an audio book while I paced around my house or neighborhood, trying to beat everyone else in the challenge.  The challenges are one of the best features Fitbit has, because whether you’re super competitive like I am, or just in it for a good time, it pushes you to give that little bit extra.

Here I am, 3 years later, and now my daily step goal is 15,000.  Last year, after inexplicably putting on a lot of weight, I started using Fitbit to track my food intake as well, a tool within the app that I had never used.  I lost 30lbs in 20 weeks doing that, and have kept the weight off for an additional 22 weeks so far.  I have logged everything I have eaten for the last 42 weeks.  Between the app tracking my intake and the Fitbit device tracking my calorie burn, I can ensure that I am staying in the appropriate deficit every day.

Fitbit has certainly changed my life.  I am more active, I am healthier and I currently weigh less than I did in my early twenties.  Surprisingly, Fitbit has helped me learn to sleep better as well.  I went from taking over 30 minutes to fall asleep at night to less than 5.  Fitbit also keeps me accountable to drinking the amount of water I need to every day.

As Sir Francis Bacon said, “Knowledge itself is power.”  Fitbit gives us the tools to have the knowledge to hold ourselves accountable and make wise choices.  It won’t work for people that aren’t willing to put the effort into using all of the tools the device offers, but I went in with my fair share of misconceptions and stubborn pride, and yet I learned to humble myself a little, make some changes and be successful with it.  I would recommend this tool to everyone!

Fitbit has not just given me the knowledge, it has empowered me!

Tombstone has always been one of my favorite movies.  It helps that the movie starred Kurt Russell (a childhood favorite of mine, and I can still get down with some Captain Ron!), and Val Kilmer, who was such a wonderful and charming Doc Holliday.

I went to the O.K. Corral and nearby area (where the famous gunfight actually occurred) as a little girl with my parents who, like many tourists, were drawn to the history of the area.  I saw the old Boot Hill graveyard where Billy Clanton and some of the others are buried.  That was before the famous Tombstone movie had been filmed, but being there brought the scene to life.  As a child, I was taken with the idea of the “wild west,” where men were men and women were not always what they seemed.  I drank a sarsaparilla on a barstool in this historic old town, and a passion in my little girl heart began to form.

I am currently listening to an audiobook of Doc: A Novel by Mary Doria Russell and narrated by Mark Bramhall, a historical but fictional retelling of the life of John Henry “Doc” Holliday, the famous dentist, gambler and gunslinger of the Tombstone legend.  Tragically diagnosed with tuberculosis in his early twenties, Doc heads west in hopes of improving his health.  There he meets the Earps and the rest is history.

The book is well written, focusing primarily on the life of Doc and those in his close associate, such as the infamous Kate, and of course the Earps.  However, the story twists and turns, telling the stories of the lives of those around him, and in doing so, sets the scene for life back in those days, the hard living and the crude conditions.  What brings it to life, however, is the voice of Mark Bramhall.  I have never heard his narration before this, and I am impressed by his inflection and range as he retells the dialogue.  His performance in this book will ensure that I seek out other works that he has narrated. 

Doc Holliday was an enigma of weakness and vice but also of tremendous courage and charm.  The fictional retellings of his life are always a delight to the imagination, going back to those days in the late 1800s and imagining the Earp Vendetta Ride, with Doc Holliday in poor health but full of courage, riding alongside.  This audiobook brings Doc Holliday back to life, and I highly recommend that anyone fascinated by this time period or these larger than life characters check it out!

You’re a daisy if you do!

I have always been a goal driven person.  I have also, even from a young age, been curious to learn and eager to seek self-improvement.  I remember as early as the second grade wanting to be not just the top of my class, but the first to achieve academic milestones.  I am motivated by the prospect of being told “well done.”

At the age of 17, a struggling math student, I met the graduation requirements with 4% to spare.  However, the next semester, I dropped an elective in order to take a remedial math class just to help me better understand the concepts.  It was purely elective; I had already met the graduation requirement. But I could not imagine leaving school and letting these concepts go un-mastered.  Thanks to this unpopular decision, I went on to college and graduate school excelling in math (due in large part to a teacher who truly understood how I needed to learn).

Now I am seeking a master’s degree in management, but my informal learning is truly my favorite.  Goal achievement is still something I strive for, personally, professionally and academically.  Which was why I was excited to sign up for the Day Zero Project’s 101 Things in 1001 Days goal project.  Throughout a variety of subcategories, I have goals from fitness achievements to reading centuries-old books.  I also think it’s important for us all to make time to do the fun things that we put off due to lack of time or money.  I have goals of attending an NFL game, visiting new cities, and taking in some local theater.

I get a tremendous sense of not just satisfaction but also vitality by checking things off of my list.  I have seen other friends inspired to do this, and they find that same sense of satisfaction because they are actively pursuing the things that are important to them.  The key is to never get so tired of life that you quit learning.  Don’t get stuck in a rut because you failed to try new things.  Make a list (they say successful people make lists!) and identify what is important to you, what you are truly passionate about, and pursue them!  Pursue them like life is short and we only get one chance to experience everything and make a difference in this world!

Life is short.  Make it everything that you dream you want it to be.

30-something.  What does that make someone?  Not old, certainly.  But old enough to have stories to tell, experiences to share and mistakes that have taught lessons.  I am not where I thought 20-year-old me would be, but in some ways, I’ve completely exceeded my expectations.

Today’s 30-something woman is in a unique position to share ideas, passion, and energy with the generations ahead of and behind us.  Whether we are mothers or career women, wives or single ladies, we have so much to offer about life experience.   And so much to look forward to, together.

I am a consumer.  I am a student.  I am a leader.  I am the woman on which some people depend.  I am a foodie and a fitness enthusiast.  I am a writer and also a critic.  I am someone who has made mistakes, but who has found redemption and love through Jesus.  My stories are not unique; they are the stories of so many women who are excelling through frustration with faith and passion!

We all have our stories to tell.  These are mine.