We all have things that we turn to in order to cope with the stresses of the world.  It’s no wonder, with all of the noise in our lives and all of the things that can knock us down, that we need ways to heal ourselves and healthy ways to release the stress.

For me, I know exercise has always been very helpful at coping with high levels of stress.  I enjoy taking out my aggression on my treadmill or weight bench; moreover, I find regular use of these things actually keeps the stress level from piling up in the first place. 

But what I use to heal myself is writing.  I have always loved to write.  Even when the odds have seemed against me that I was any good at it.  Back in college when I was 18 and seeking a Professional Writing degree, I had a professor who thought I was a total dunce.  Looking at me now with my 3.9GPA it is a funny thing to wonder how I got a D in one of his writing classes.  It didn’t deter me, though.  I kept writing, kept pushing.

My father passed away, and of course, in the aftermath, I was left in a sort of a daze.  While his death was not unexpected, the absence of him was startling.  Following his death,  I felt a perpetual sense of distraction.  I worked and went to school and went through the motions, but my short term memory was terrible.  My boss would ask me to do something and by the time I got back to my desk I had completely forgotten and started on something else.  I thought I was losing my mind.

I started back to school in 2012 to complete my bachelor’s degree, and immediately after graduation launched into my master’s degree program.  Because of this, I have been a student steadily for almost 6 full years now, and in that time I had done almost no creative writing.  I can write academically to beat the band, churning out tens of thousands of words each year in support of the new things I have learned.  However, this hasn’t proven to be very therapeutic.

I sat down and wrote a poem on June 4^th of this year, the first I had written since 2013.  It wasn’t about my dad at all, but it was about purpose and about faith, and in those short lines, I found some healing.  In the two months since I have written almost fifty poems and a short story!  I started writing and felt such a sense of relief.  Despite working through grief, most of them are upbeat, hopeful and happy.  I reflect at times, not only on my dad but on both of my parents, who have been wonderful role models to me, and I feel relief.  I write about my husband, my passions, my siblings and my friends, my faith in God and the hope we have in Him.  And in every line and verse, I find healing, not only from my grief but from the burden I feel when I don’t write.  I simply must write these things, it is who I am.

I write this blog and see readers from across the world viewing my pages and I am so encouraged!  I write because I must, but I want to write with a purpose.  I want to connect with others, uplift them or inspire them, or maybe encourage them to write for themselves!  I am thankful that people read this, that they return to read more, and that something in what I say resonates with them.  It is an incredibly humbling feeling.

Learning to juggle is one of the things I included on my Day Zero Project list.  I had read an article about how learning to juggle expands brain capacity, and whether or not it is true, I thought I would give it a try.  So far, no success, but I have over two years left to figure it out.

However, in a metaphorical way, I juggle very proficiently every day.  I work full time, go to school part time, manage a household and maintain a fitness regime and a daily 15,000 step commitment.  I do all of these things while sticking to a 7 hour-per-night sleep schedule, and having plenty of time for goofing around.

So, I started to ask myself what allows me to juggle.  I know many other people who are also able to accomplish this, and some of them have children as well!  And yet, others struggle with the basic tasks of getting to work and getting home to make dinner.  What makes the difference?

I am not a plan B type of person, and more over, I am hardly a plan A type of person.  I have truly become a “fly by the seat of my pants” person, so flexible in my routines that I am marshmallowy.

I don’t manage all of this by conforming to rigid routines and schedules.  My husband works different shifts every day and has different days off every week, so I am very accustomed to living life on a variety of daily schedules.   But I am also not a procrastinator.  As noted in a previous blog post, I use various tools to keep me on track, and just keep moving forward and somehow, I get everywhere I need to be, no stress!

So, what are the common factors among people who make it work?

Now, if only these same principles would help me learn to actually juggle, I’d be able to check something off of my list!

It’s funny to me how we can get behind the wheel of a 3000-4000 pound vehicle on roadways that separate us by nothing more than a painted line, and assume this is a good time to multitask!

It is troubling to look over and see someone shaving or putting on makeup.  Worst of all, watching people engrossed in their cell phones, and not just at stop lights but while driving 45mph down the road.

I think it’s fair to take some offense to this.  Whatever they are reading or replying to takes priority over the condition of my car, their car, and both of our lives.  It must, or they would put the phone down and deal with it later. 

How many ads do we have to see about the fatal car accident that was immediately preceded by a text message?  How much common sense do people lack as a whole that they even have to be told not to let this happen to them?

As a Libertarian, I am opposed to any legislation to fix this.  Moreover, legislation does not work.  I drive through several municipalities each morning on my commute to work, all of which have ordinances in place that criminalize cell phone use while driving.  But all that seems to do is provide a happy little cash cow to the cities because they pull people over and ticket them but no one ever seems to stop doing it.  Every day, I see dozens of men and women driving while using their cell phones.

It is just stunning and disappointing how people prioritize, and how little regard they have for their own safety or that of anyone else.  Why should any government have to tell you something you should already know better about simply because you’re an adult and it should be obvious?

It\’s common sense, but that seems to be a misnomer these days.  You have people who hit snooze so many times in the morning that they are shaving on their way to work instead of taking care of that before they leave the house.  Sometimes I just have to shake my head and say, “what in tarnation?!”

No text message, Instagram post and nothing on your Facebook newsfeed are worth looking at while you’re driving.  It’s not worth a ticket, and it’s certainly not worth injuring or killing someone over.  Put the damn phone down and focus on what you’re doing while you’re flying past me on the road.

Ordinarily, I don’t post on Sunday, but because today is Friendship Day, I wanted to make an exception.

I am literally on the borderline of the Myers Briggs personality assessment between an introvert and an extrovert.  I am not a social butterfly, but I am not a total recluse either.  And I have been fortunate to have maintained some very long standing friendships over several decades, as well as find some kindred spirits more recently along the way.

I would have to say that above all else, my sisters are my best friends.  I am unusually close to both of my sisters; we see each other very regularly and share many of the same interests.  I can usually count on at least one of them to be enthusiastic to try something new with me. 

In addition, I have been blessed to have several friendships grow and blossom from our pre-teen years until now, and despite growing apart in some ways, we share a certain bond that keeps us together.  This is helped by the fact that these girls are hilarious fun to be around, and growing up didn’t change that in them at all!

I had few friends in high school, but the girls that I befriended then are women I am still friends with today.  I have found it a relief that there are some people out there who know me well enough that no explanation is needed.  We can just be, and that is so refreshing!  One of those friends has been highly inspirational in getting me back into non-academic writing this year, for which I am so grateful!

I have made a few good friends in my adventures through adulthood as well.  I have met a few kindred spirits, those who share my passion for history or fitness or sports and through that we built a bond.  Those are the friendships that make day to day life special.

I would like to especially recognize my friend JB, who has been there for me through my saddest and hardest days and also through my happiest times.  We met when we were sixteen and in the years since she has blessed my life with many embarrassing remembrances of our youth; old notes she saved from me that she now reads to me over a voicemail to call me back to earth if I ever start to forget how ridiculous I am!  She has made the trip to see me many times; packing along with her my favorite treats.  While I am sure I annoy her to death some days, she loves me as I am.  She leaves me to my own inspirations of self-improvement and encourages me, but loves me even if I fail.  She is one of those friends who I can really let my hair down with.  She loves my family and is friendly with my sister and my husband outside of my influence, and I love that she just fits in with us.

So, while on this day I am thankful for all of my friendships, I am especially missing my dear friend JB today!

Friendship is always something to celebrate.  The people we have in our lives that help us carry our burdens, make us laugh, and who help make us better people deserve our recognition and thanks.  I have been blessed to have wonderful people in my life who admire and who I am blessed to have in my life and it is my pleasure to reflect on all of that today!

I always seem to catch on to my new favorite shows when they are already well-established and have a few seasons going.  It was this way for me with Frasier back in the nineties, which I probably started watching in season 3 or 4, and even with Downton Abbey, which got my attention in season 3.  So it also was with one of my other favorite addictions, the Impractical Jokers!

I can only blame the fact that I am not much of a TV person in general for the reason I didn’t catch onto the Impractical Jokers until last season.  Currently in its 6^th season, I am now the proud owner of every season and Friday is my favorite day when the new episode from the night before releases to me on Amazon!

I love the whole premise of the show.  There is something so authentic about it.  They are four guys who are currently 40 years old but have been friends since high school.  They had a history of pranking each other (and the public) and this new take on a hidden camera show allows viewers to watch them embarrass themselves in always new and hilarious situations.

The interesting thing is that despite being hilarious pranksters, they are individually talented and intelligent people.  One worked in fire rescue for several years, one has a degree in accounting (and being that I am currently taking accounting in school, my hat is off to him!), one has a degree in finance, and the other is an English major who also works in television production!

My favorite skits they do are the focus groups.  One of the guys is the moderator and has written the answer for the other guy, who is a plant among the rest of the unsuspecting focus group members.  They have to read the answers they were given to the rest of the focus group, or lose.  They have known each other so long that they always know what buttons to push, and who won’t cross the line and how to get them!

Joe is my favorite.  He will do anything, has zero shame, and he can keep a straight face even in the most hilarious situations.  In his personal life, he is the only married Joker and has children, and has a soft spot for animal rescue.  Nothing is funnier than his face when he is trying to be creepy, his eyes are hysterical!

I saw them live last November and they were absolutely amazing, and it is on my Day Zero Project list to see them again and take my husband!

We all need a good laugh after a hard week, and I am excited to go home and have mine with a new Jokers episode!

Marrying for love is an interesting concept.  At least love in terms of the way we understand it nowadays.  Because love is a choice, we sometimes forget that the euphoria of falling into love is different than the Biblical command to “love one another.”

My great grandparents came here from Germany in the early thirties, escaping both the difficult conditions that the nation was left in after WWI and the ominous stirrings that would lead to WWII.  It was an arranged marriage, and they didn’t even meet one another in Germany, but instead met and were married only when they had reached North America, far away from their homes and their families.

To think I am only two generations away from that arranged marriage is a strange thing.  My great grandmother had grown up in relative wealth, was a university educated woman, an unusual thing at the time, and had never done hard labor in her life.  However, on the western prairies, she learned to respect her husband, raise her children, milk the cows and sew her own clothes.  I have very few first-hand memories of her but have been told she was a cheerful woman, happily resigned to making the most of this lifestyle and doting on her family.  Her husband was a gruff man who worked in hard labor jobs, and she maintained a humble sanctuary for him to come home to each day.  They were companions, not lovers, but she made no complaint about it.

My mom recently worked with a man from India who was also in an arranged marriage.  She asked him about it and he said, “Who better than my parents, who love me, to choose my mate for me?”  He said he was very happy in his marriage, and his only regret was that he hated the wedding band his father had chosen for him!

I am not making a social commentary on arranged marriages.  I chose my husband myself, and I am grateful for that.  And not every arranged marriage is a successful one, that is for sure.  But while listening to the stories, it did make me think of one thing that both of these marriages had that made them successful even though they were not love matches.

They were thankful.

My great grandmother was just a happy, thankful person – circumstances didn’t dictate to her attitude.  My mom’s coworker was just a thankful man, both toward his parents and for the mate they chose for him.  How much better all of our chosen marriages would be if we applied the same thankfulness to them.  How fortunate am I compared to my own great grandmother to be married to a man who loves me, and how much more cause does that give me to be thankful for him.  

Mondays.  Small talk at work on Monday always begins with, “Oh, Monday again!”  We dread Monday, we make jokes about Monday, and we always can’t wait for Monday to be over.

I am here to defend the reputation of Monday.  I don’t hate it.  Monday is a fresh start of a new week.  Much like New Year’s Day and birthdays, Mondays are a day that people sometimes choose to make a change or a fresh start.  Monday is a beginning!  Monday, at least for part of the year, is also the day for Monday Night Football!  There are great reasons to love Monday.

I don’t dislike waking up early on Monday any more than I do on other days.  For me, Monday is a new start of a new school week, new sets of assignments, new things to be learned (and conversely, a close on the assignments of the previous week, and sometimes with a sigh of relief!).  I also tend to be better rested on Mondays due to the weekend.  If anything, Tuesday is worse because my weekend energy is running out!

It’s funny that Monday happens just as often as Friday, and yet it seems to come more often and more quickly.  But that just proves how powerful attitude and perspective are, because it’s totally in our own heads.  If we could harness that energy to make Monday better, it would be.

Monday is also 1/7^th of our lives.  That means most of us wish away 14% of our lives when we say stuff like, “I wish Monday would just be over already.”  No!  Use that 14% to make life better!

I am here to say that going forward, I will have a better attitude about Monday.  That is this week’s Monday resolution.  To enjoy it, to squeeze every drop out of that 14% of my week and my life. 

Maybe I’ll schedule a recurring pastime for Mondays only just to give me something to look forward to.  Maybe I can use it to check #80 off of my Day Zero Project list, and “start a new tradition” that I do on Mondays.  Whatever it takes to resuscitate the beauty of Monday and make the most of it in my life!

Happy Monday to you all!

I made an interesting observation recently.  It has been in the news lately that several musicians have had to cancel or reschedule concert dates due to different issues, and this has been upsetting to their fans.  My sister was telling me that she had seen on social media that some people are becoming irrationally angry and belligerent about having a concert date get rescheduled – often due to circumstances that could not have been prevented.

I totally get people being frustrated that their plans have been altered.  Tickets are often not cheap, and people make arrangements to travel, etc.  It is annoying to have plans changed, and honestly, while I feel that raging about that in social media comment threads is sort of silly, I understand the frustration.

However, these same people – otherwise known as the general public – are the exact same people that suddenly do not understand why other people have expectations of them.  They have this huge expectation of these musicians to be on time, be on point, and to be entertaining.  And yet, when you encounter them in the workplace they can be just as unreasonable when someone has expectations about their performance or attendance at work!

I have seen employees be addressed for something as non-subjective as their attendance and they get defensive.  The policy states that you are AIS (ass in seat) and ready to work at the start of your shift.  Some employees balk and say that these expectations are rigid and not important to the department or organization.  I disagree.  If your regular and punctual attendance is not required for operation of this department, then I am not entirely sure why you are required at all. 

I try to find it amusing so that I don’t get frustrated, but it is a strange sort of hypocrisy that we can have such high and demanding expectations of others, but when it comes to something that is truly important we can make an excuse about it.  If we are going to expect others to be tolerant and forgiving of our own deficiencies, perhaps we should offer that courtesy in return.

On a side note, I find a lack of punctuality and attendance to be very disrespectful – both at work and in my personal life.  As a friend of mine recently said, it implies that your time is the only thing that is important to you and it is just simply rude!  If you take a job and a paycheck in exchange for the agreement to show up at work and be on time, you should do it.  Not just because your own integrity should matter to you, but it shows respect to our coworkers.

I live 20 miles away from my place of employment and I don’t even have my own vehicle, and yet in my 8 years here, I have been late maybe 5 times (all due to inclement weather) and I have been unexpectedly absent less than that.  I have trouble accepting excuses from others, especially when they are so unsympathetic to other people – especially with recreational things like concerts!