This weekend my best friend, JB, will celebrate her 35th birthday.  I honestly didn\’t intend to write about it or about her, but I just heard a song that made me think about her and I felt inspired.

I have known her for over half of my life.  I met her about five months before I met my husband, her in October of eleventh grade and him in March of eleventh grade.  Eleventh grade was one of the worst years of my life (only slightly less bad than the tenth).  I\’d switched schools, I was overwhelmed and struggling with physics and chemistry classes, I\’d lost a few good friends, and I was just not a happy girl.  Meeting the two of them that year was the only silver lining, but what a jackpot!

I remember the exact moment I met JB.  I remember her long, dark hair and her red lipstick and her black leather jacket.  I liked her immediately, but we didn\’t become good friends right away.  It took a few months of riding the bus together and walking to school before we truly began to bond.  But meeting her was the turning point, and one of the only good things to come out of that horrible school!  And in fact, we grew closer as friends in the years after I moved away from my hometown, and are closer now than ever we were before.

She hasn\’t changed much, except to grow wiser and funnier and more eclectic.  But she still has the same long dark hair, the same red lips.  She is probably the only person outside of my immediate family that I don\’t need to have filters with when we talk.  She is the one I can tell my off-color jokes to, the one I never even have to worry about offending.  She is the one I can send off an angry, one-liner political rant to, and she gets it and usually agrees!  Between us, we share laughter and ideas and our true selves, a relief to have where day after day we have to go to work and behave.  She knows every best and worst thing about me, and neither makes overly much difference to her in how much she loves me.  And I love that!

She is like part my family.  When she visits, she brings them gifts.  She texts my husband about politics and video games, they share so many things in common.  My sisters know her enough to think of her, despite the two thousand miles of distance, and the other day one of my sisters said, \”I don\’t know but when I think of her I always think of the color red.\”  There is nothing contrived about it; it\’s just the way she is, the regularity of her contact with me and them.

Despite horrendous nausea that she experiences at the mere thought of getting on an airplane, she visits regularly.  In two months, she will be here with me celebrating my thirty-fifth birthday, and I am sad and sorry I cannot be with her this weekend while she celebrates hers.  In my recent book, there is a poem about her where I declare that \”she gets older, better with age.\”  And on this celebration of another year of her life, I say it again!  She is spunkier, funnier, wittier and more interesting each passing year.

You would never guess she was 35, but every moment of it looks good on her.  Happy birthday, darling!

My mom recently shared something with me that goes a long way to restoring my faith in humanity AND in the principles of free market economics!

My mom has recently moved and is a part of the private social media experience called NextDoor, which allows people to connect privately about things going on in their neighborhood.  People discuss safety issues, make requests for babysitters, offer or ask for help, and so on.  It is a great way for people feel connected to their neighbors.

Well, recently a young teenager reached out on this particular group in my mom\’s neighborhood, asking for babysitting or lawn care jobs, any jobs to make a little money because his mom was in need.  He went on to give a brief description of their backstory, which involved domestic abuse and financial strain, and his mom was in need of money in order to secure their home for them and keep her ex-husband away.

Not long after the initial post was made, the neighbors began offering help.  A GoFundMe was started.  Meals were made.  In short order, over $4,000 was collected to benefit the family, and this teenager who reached out is booked solid with jobs to earn some extra cash.

This mother and her kids are now in a secure position and absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of generosity from people.  I, too, am overwhelmed, but not in the least bit surprised.  This is one of my favorite parts of living in America.

This is only one example of times that I have seen the community come together for a stranger and help them get back on their feet.  I think back to last fall when a friend of my brother-in-law had a stroke, and in a few short days, a bunch of strangers scraped together over $7,000 to help with expenses as he recovered.  I think of my coworker who was in a serious motorcycle accident last spring, and how quickly our fellow co-workers (many of whom did not know him well) got involved to raise money for him and his family.  The news was full of such examples during last summer\’s hurricane season, as people were willing to give so much to those who had been displaced.

People are so willing to help.  They don\’t require a push, they don\’t require formal channels or government involvement.  They see a need and are willing to step in, offering financial support, meals, car rides, child care, a place to stay, and more.

It proves my belief that we do not need charity to be enforced by the government.  People will help each other freely.  More importantly, it reminds me that there are still good, kind, and loving people out there, willing to sacrifice for a stranger in need.

Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies.  I have it downloaded onto both of my Kindles, just in case I need it.  I watch it fairly regularly because no matter what my mood, it makes me happy.

I recently got into a couple of conversations about the character of Forrest Gump, which is something I actually ponder on a lot.  My husband says no one thinks about him as much as I do!  But I think the great thing about Forrest Gump, the overreaching theme that I see in it, is that Forrest loves people as they are.

Forrest loved Jenny from the start.  He rewarded her innocent kindness with a lifetime of unconditional love.  Through the years, she demonstrated over and over that she wasn\’t \”good enough\” for him but he loved her anyway.  His love for her had nothing to do with anything she had to do for him, or earning it, or being good enough.  His love for her was his commitment to love her, even when she wasn\’t exactly worthy.  When all of his letters to Jenny were returned unopened, he loved her still.  He didn\’t call her to account of it when he saw her again.  He just loved her.

But it wasn\’t just with Jenny that we see this unconditional love.  Lieutenant Dan was basically a jerk to Forrest from the moment they met.  He was sarcastic, and that only got worse after Lieutenant Dan\’s injury.  Lieutenant Dan went so far as to blame and accuse Forrest of robbing him of his destiny to die as a hero.  Forrest in some ways became his caregiver, and then his benefactor on the shrimping boat, rewarding and loving his friend even when his friend was an ornery jackass who \”didn\’t deserve\” it.

With Forrest, there was no such thing as not deserving, not being worthy, or having to earn it.  He just loved them, as they were, no conditions.

I was explaining recently why I prefer this love story over any romantic comedy or sappy romance story.  Romantic comedies almost always end with the guy getting the girl after a struggle and living happily ever after.  Forrest Gump gets his girl but not for long, but it still doesn\’t change him.  His love goes on.  That is a true love story.

Forrest Gump was a simpleton, but in some ways he really got it more than most of us do.  We overcomplicate things with our expectations.  We operate on a \”tit-for-tat\” basis, where when we get hurt we withdraw our affection or seek to inflict damage.

Forrest Gump ended up wealthy and happy, and never through intrigue or conniving, but always by doing his best, doing it wholeheartedly, and giving back in full where it was due.  Who couldn\’t learn from that example?

Later this month, my family will celebrate the 16 year anniversary since we moved to the United States.  I was almost 19 years old when we came here, and in the years since we have encountered quite a few challenges associated with immigration.  However, I wouldn\’t change a thing.

Most Americans don\’t really understand the immigration process.  As I have gone through the different phases of being a visa holder, a green card holder and now as I go through the process to become a citizen, people are always surprised.  They ask, \”Aren\’t you a citizen just by having married one?\”  Nope.  It merely opened a door to me to pay a lot of money and fill out a lot of paperwork!

This year will mark the 10 year anniversary of being awarded my green card, or to put it more correctly, my permanent resident card.  This is the proof that I am allowed to work freely in this country, though it does not afford me the right to vote.  In order to obtain this little card, I had to go through a series of medical testing, biometrics, lots of fees and paperwork, and a final interview.  For a decade, I have carried that card around with a sense of duty and pride.  It is a representation of a dream come true for me!

This year, that card expires and rather than renew, I applied for American citizenship (also called naturalization).  As a taxpayer, I would like to vote.  I cannot foresee myself ever seeking to live anywhere else.  I love it here.  It is not perfect, but there is so much opportunity.  I cannot think how different my life might have been had I never come here.

This week, I had my first official appointment with immigration for my citizenship requirements.  I was fingerprinted for about the fourth time.  Photos were taken and a background check is being run – again.  I will now sit and wait patiently to be called for my interview, where I will take a civics test and be asked some questions.  After that at some point will be a ceremony where I will take an oath of allegiance to the United States.  And after that, a party to celebrate!

I have been a part of different groups of people who were immigrants to this country and they were filled with complaints about the process and the culture, and it caused me to ask why they come here at all.  \”For the opportunity,\” they answer.  I agree, and since that is the case I believe we need to be gracious and patient as we work through the system, because it is not our birthright to be here.  I remember 15-year-old me telling my classmates I would be an American someday, and I remember their scoffing.  And so as I write my checks and go to appointments I\’d rather not have to go to, I remember that, that this is part of a process of which I am privileged to be a part.

So, my husband has lately accused me of behaving like a \”crotchety old man\” and that I have become disdainful of things before I understand them.  I am going to chalk this up to my level of mental fatigue lately as I round that homeward stretch for school.  I am sick of everything and I am getting grouchy!

I wrote recently that my husband has been getting his fill of baseball movies as we come upon the beginning of baseball season.  As a result, I have watched a lot of movies with him.  His love language is quality time, and so I like to spend time with him enjoying his interests to demonstrate my love.  As a result, I sometimes find myself growing as a result, learning to enjoy things I never would have expected, albeit sometimes rather grudgingly (I hate it when he knows me better than I know myself!).

Moneyball is old news to most everyone else, it came out in 2011.  I have never actually looked closely at the cover of the book or movie, so I didn\’t realize this was about baseball.  For some reason, I assumed it was something to do with casino gambling.  So when my husband suggested that we watch it, I was crotchety, grouchy and disdainful rolled into one word: \”why?!\”

Turns out, not only was I wrong, I absolutely loved it.  Though it stars Brad Pitt, who I find smug at times and irritating at others, it also has Jonah Hill, who plays a brilliant economist with a mathematical approach to valuing baseball players that changes how they build their team.  The statistics fascinated me.  After watching the movie, I both researched and had my husband explain truth from fiction and was further intrigued as I understood the strategy being used.  I love math, especially statistics.

I am regretful that I didn\’t use my skill or interest in math to actually do something cool.  When I watch movies like Moneyball I feel the same way I do when I watch UFC fighting – that I could have done something so much cooler with my life!  At least the math was actually a possibility for me.

So, it was a learning experience.  First of all, it was another blatant example of my husband being right about me being crotchety and wrong.  Secondly, I loved the mathematical component of it.  Third, I always love a good sports movie!  I intend to buy the book to further learn about this strategy.  And though I\’ve never been a baseball fan, I worry this will turn me into one.

And if you love this stuff too, Season 22 of The Simpsons has an episode that sort of parodies this movie, where Lisa uses the same sabermetric approach to helping Bart\’s little league team!

Today officially marks the one year anniversary since I began my Day Zero Project list entitled \”101 Things to do in 1001 Days.\”  In fact, my list has 110 items on it, as I suddenly had an epiphany as I completed it.

I look back on the year and realize not only the number of things I have done, but the great diversity of things, the interesting new things, and quality of my time spent!

Below is a list of the things I have now checked off as complete.  46 items!  That means I am almost 42% done my list, and only 36% done the time length.

Over the past month, I have committed to a daily practice of studying to learn a new language.  I chose German because of my German background, including a great grandmother who spoke mostly German.  I love working on my genealogy and finding original documents and I would be thrilled if I could actually read them.

Right now, I am probably amongst millions of high school seniors and fourth-year undergrads, on the home stretch toward graduation and suffering from senioritis.  I don\’t know if I technically count as a senior in my third year of grad school, but I am suffering from all of the same symptoms.

I love how eclectic the people in my life are.  All of my siblings and friends are experts and aficionados of different things, and through them, I am exposed to so many new and wonderful ideas and experiences that I may never have stumbled upon on my own.

One of my best friends, a friend from high school, has gotten me into quite a few things and the most recent is a new brand of leggings!  She sent me two pairs for Christmas and since then I have purchased six new pairs for myself!  She had been swearing by them for a long time and they looked comfortable and like high quality, and now I am hooked!  She has also done thoughtful things for me as gifts that I have loved so much that I stole the idea and did them for others!

This is the same friend who inspired me to publish my books of poetry!

The list of things that I currently love that my husband almost had to sort of push me into (because I am stubborn) include but are not limited to: Forrest Gump, Brooks & Dunn, King of the Hill, MASH, football, Marvel movies (especially Iron Man!), and the last but most important, having dogs!  I would be an entirely different person had it not been for him!

Because of my sisters I: own Babyliss hair styling products, collect Disney pins, took several years of hip-hop dance and Body Pump at the gym, I am an avid watcher of Modern Family and the Impractical Jokers, and a sushi lover!

My dearest friend JB frequently sends me recipes and haircuts that I might try, the lyrics to songs I should listen to, and it is often because of her that I inherit a funny new saying that I use until everyone else is annoyed.

Even though she was not the one who actually got me into it, my childhood best friend KJ was the one who made me truly love The Simpons and I always think of her when I watch (Mr. Burns reminds me of her!).

My dear friend KN, one of the girls that is coming to visit me this summer for my 35th birthday, has the most soothing speaking voice and sends me voice messages about things I know nothing about but then sends me on a wild Google chase, looking things up and learning new things!

I always remember the people who get me hooked on new things.  I\’ll never forget the first teacher I had who exposed me to Kipling.  I\’ll never forget the teacher who made me love Nathaniel Hawthorne.  My mom was the one who exposed me to my favorite fictional book of all time, Anne of Green Gables.

But for the life of me, I cannot remember who is at fault for making me love Nickelback!