One of my pet peeves is when the corners of the bed sheets start sliding off the bed after a couple of nights.  You wash your bedding, it\’s all fresh and snug on the mattress and then within a few days it\’s shifting, slipping off the corners and bunching up.

I was recently reading through a thread of comments on a post online about the option of home schooling your children. A vast majority of the comments included some variation of, \”I have never met a home schooled kid who wasn\’t odd.\” I read these comments over a week ago, and they still bother me a little, so I felt a response was valid.

I have a very mixed experience in my K-12 education. I did not attend kindergarten at all, but was instead traveling through the United States in a motor home with my parents and sister, getting far more life experience than a classroom could offer. During this time, I did learn the basics of reading and all of that, but I also learned about people, that people are not all the same, and that I am not the same. And that it is okay.

I home schooled grade one. My parents taught me at home, but I took exams at a local elementary school at the end of the year. People have a false idea that home schooled kids run wild and free and are untested and uneducated. This is not the case.

Grades two through five, I attended a private school. My mom worked at the school part time to offset the cost of the tuition that my parents could not afford. I was a shy child at the start of this time, not likely due to my year of home schooling but more that it was just my nature as a young child. Please note, despite being shy I did not allow myself to be pushed around. Previous blog posts reference my life lessons on teaching others how to treat you, which I learned during these years of my life.

One of the things I disliked about school was having to wait for everyone else. Sitting quietly while the slow pokes figured out how to add two numbers together bored me. I had an awful fifth grade teacher who I felt both belittled me as a student and didn\’t help me learn much of anything, and I begged my parents to allow me to home school again. So, the following year I started home schooling again, and did that from grades six through nine.

During these years, I was fortunate to escape the drama of junior high school. I studied and learned and outside of the house, I was actively social with neighborhood friends, clubs, and church groups. I played outdoor hockey in our neighborhood and was active and not at all starved for socialization. I was also excelling in my studies. Each year, we were vigorously tested by the school board to ensure we were keeping pace with the rest of the students who attended school. We were given grades that allowed us to see where we were comparatively. For example, in the eighth grade, I was reading at a college level. I understood humanities at the eleventh and twelfth grade levels. And I was keeping pace appropriately in math and science.

By the end of ninth grade, I was starting to see the challenge of continuing with math and science at home. I had a tutor come in to assist, but some things are easier done in a hands-on manner. I saw the writing on the wall, and requested of my parents that I be allowed to attend public school for high school (grades ten through twelve in Canada).

Was I an odd kid, arriving to public school for my first day in the tenth grade? Perhaps. I remember being quite shocked at my first experience of public school. For me, nerdy as it is, school had been a place to learn. I looked around me during my first days of public school and felt like no one else had learning as a first priority.

Immediately, I got involved with the leadership committee, which was that school\’s small version of a Student\’s Union. I was actively involved in arranging and organizing school events. Aside from this, I was also an honor\’s student. Outside of school, I worked a part-time job in excess of twenty hours per week. If this is odd, then perhaps we need more oddity in our lives.

Throughout my three years of high school, I was not popular, but I was also completely untroubled by that. I made what I would now call very wise and thoughtful choices about my course load. For electives I took things like civil and criminal law and economics and ensured I found myself in situations where I learned life skills. Before graduating, I knew how to do my taxes, create a budget, and I understood interest both in terms of debt and investments. I knew how to conduct myself in interviews, create a resume and negotiate my wages. This was not part of the standard curriculum at my public high school, but I sought out teachers and mentors who would give me the time to help me learn these things. This self-motivated exercise and interest in my development was a direct result of my years being home schooled, where I learned to take initiative and think thoughtfully about my future.

Am I odd as an adult? Yes. But I am also a completely upstanding and involved member of society. I do not drink alcohol. I have never once been in detention or on corrective action at work. I have never failed to pay a bill, and my credit score is over 800 (despite only having a SSN for 9 years). I am an active volunteer within my community. I have a graduate level degree and have published two books of poetry. I have been a homeowner since the age of 25 and aside from some days where my lawn is overgrown, I am a good neighbor. I am hardly some weirdo hiding out in a cave.

But people imply (as they did in these comments I read) that home schooled kids grow up to be just that: weirdos. But if my own example is not enough, I point to my siblings. My siblings were all home schooled. My sisters are both educated and successful, both involved in different ways in their communities. My brother owns his own successful business and thereby employs a few lucky Americans blessed enough to work for him. He owns his own home and \”takes care\” of my mom (who doesn\’t need it, but he cares anyway!).

I am surprised that people don\’t want their kids to grow up as \”weird\” and as \”odd\” as we all did.

Recently, I wrote an article reviewing my experience with EverlyWell\’s food sensitivity panel.  After receiving my results, which had 15 foods flagged as reactive to different degrees, I made the decision to begin eliminating them from my diet.  So far, I am seeing some significant results.

I have always had digestive issues.  One could say that I have been running a long term, low grade stomachache for a couple decades!  I discovered that I was lactose intolerant when I was 15 years old, but eliminating lactose from my diet didn\’t cure all of my issues.

When I began monitoring my food intake in 2016, I did notice some of the issues with my digestive problems subside.  I suspect overeating (even if you are exercising to get into a calorie deficit) can cause some pretty severe digestive issues as your body tries to process through the excess.  However, even with this, and the elimination of most dairy, I still had some trouble.

Food allergies and food sensitivities are different and have very different symptoms associated with them.  This was described in the article I referenced above.  Food sensitivity symptoms can range from headaches and digestive discomfort to eczema and fatigue and beyond.  Many times these symptoms get associated with other conditions and go diagnosed or untreated.

I immediately removed the three foods that had the highest reactivity.  This was difficult, as these three food components are in everything.  I also began to try to eliminate the lower reactivity foods as well.  One was a major surprise to me, and a disappointment because it\’s one of my favorite snacks!

Has eliminating these foods been difficult?  Yes.  Has it been inconvenient?  Very.  But it has also been worth it in terms of how I am feeling.  It is hard to describe the change.  I have a definite sense of digestive relief.  In three weeks, I have had one stomachache, which is amazing.  I also feel lighter somehow, less bloated, just a general sense of better wellness.

I was surprised and disappointed by the number and type of foods to which I had a reaction.  However, knowledge is power and I was able to use this information to empower myself to better health and lifestyle choices.  I miss certain foods, but I do not miss the cramping stomach pains associated with them!  I am also surprised at how quickly these life choices began to make a positive impact.  Three weeks in and I am convinced of the benefit.

During the years that I was in school, I hardly traveled at all.  My husband and I are not especially good travel companions, and besides that we have 3 dogs, which makes arranging travel complicated.  Over the last decade, we have gone on separate vacations a few different times.  I\’ll go with my sister and he\’ll go with a friend.  These have worked out well for us because it leaves one or the other at home to tend to the doggies while we are away.

However, having now finished my degree and feeling unencumbered by the weighty responsibilities of academia, I am looking to travel alone.  My sister mentioned that she had this on her Day Zero Project list, and I immediately wondered why I had not put it there (so I added it!).  My mom is celebrating her 60th birthday this month by going to Vegas with a high school friend, and then from there, going to spend a week by herself in Mexico.  It sounds heavenly.

I am now planning and researching cities I could travel to by myself, to spend the days sight seeing and trying new foods, Ubering around with great freedom, and ordering room service at night.  I imagine myself in cities like San Diego, Seattle or even New York City, strapped with nothing but my selfie stick for company, taking photos all around town.

When you travel with someone, there are the inevitable compromises that must be made.  What do you want to eat?  Where do you want to go first?  And all of the other many questions and concessions that must be made.  Traveling with a companion can be fun, but these are definitely some of the down sides.

Traveling alone, I could see the sights on my schedule.  Eat when I wanted and whatever I wanted.  Sleep in, wake up early, go where the wind takes me.  There is nothing lonely about it.  It is empowering!

My sister, just last week, went to a concert by herself.  People find this odd.  I often wonder if these people are insecure about being alone.  Being with other people is great and rewarding and fun.  But so is being alone.

I am not afraid to sit in a movie theater alone, or in a restaurant alone.  I would not be afraid to take a city tour alone, or walk across the Golden Gate bridge alone!  I am very excited to begin to partake in these solo adventures!

I am very late to the party on this one, but I cannot resist sharing because I loved this movie.  The Imitation Game was released in 2014, and stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Keira Knightly, Matthew Goode and Allen Leech.  Based primarily on the biography Alan Turing: The Enigma, it depicts mathematician Alan Turing (Cumberbatch) and his team of geniuses as they try to crack the Nazi Enigma Code during World War II.

Without giving spoilers, I can tell you there were a few general things I loved about this movie.  First of all, Cumberbatch does an impeccable job of portraying a socially inept genius.  His depiction is frustrating and yet stirs sympathy.  As the story unfolds, you want him to succeed even though sometimes he does maddening things!

Secondly, I loved Keira Knightly as the female genius on the team.  True to her time, there was a concern over what was \”decorous,\” but she brings warmth to counter-balance the aloofness of Cumberbatch.  A bit of an odd duck herself, she \”makes people like her.\”  I enjoyed seeing a truly feminine take on a mathematical genius!

Thirdly, Matthew Goode is perfectly beautiful and the combination of him and Allen Leech (who starred side by side on Downton Abbey as well, playing Henry Talbot and Tom Branson, respectively) brought a light bit of light-heartedness to an overall heavy theme.

While we clearly all know how World War II ended, few probably know about the Enigma Code or the efforts the Allied Forces to break it.  Furthermore, many people probably do not realize how early this code was broken, or the strategic tactics that were taken in order to avoid the Germans discovering that their code had been cracked.

The movie has a jubilant moment near the end, when the war is over and the group celebrates together one last time before parting ways.  However, the final ending for Alan Turing ended the movie on a very sad note, a reflection of the times and the struggle of a genius.

This movie was fascinating.  Even to someone who had some background knowledge about the history, I loved seeing the story come to life.

I do not claim to be any sort of professional critic, but over the years I have read a lot of praise and criticism for Downton Abbey and have formed a lot of contrary opinions to much of it.  I am not sure if it is because perhaps American viewers do not understand British television, or if perhaps I am just an ignorant viewer.  In either case, I will enjoy expounding on my thoughts about certain criticisms I have read over the years.  Please note, this post will contain spoilers for those who have not seen the show.

One of the strongest criticisms I read was regarding the rape scene with Anna Bates in season four.  Some of the criticism I read about this detailed how this violent and \”gratuitous\” scene was a departure the series, unnecessary and gruesome.  I read this review before actually seeing the episode, so I was on the edge of my seat expecting something far different than what was portrayed.  Perhaps in contrast to the elegant opera singer performing for guests upstairs, the attack on Anna was stark by contrast.  However, in true Downton fashion, the scene was a suggestion more than a vulgar demonstration.  Secondly, as the rape of any person is an abhorrent act, I think the \”gruesome\” fallout of it was appropriate. 

The critic in this case argued the unnecessary tangent of this story line, but I disagree.  First of all, this is British entertainment, and they don\’t love everything to be all rainbows and sunshine for very long.  Anna and John Bates are both such likable characters and with the story line of John Bates\’ false imprisonment over, there needed to be some drama.  Second of all, one of the common themes throughout Downton Abbey is the changing of the times in the post WWI era, especially for women.  This scene and it\’s aftermath illustrate the shame and guilt that women often felt (and still feel) after such an incident, and this was demonstrated when Anna says, \”I am spoiled for you now\” to her husband when he discovers what happened.  This story line was a part of the overall theme of the times, what it was like for women, and the perceptions that people had.

The other strongest criticism I read was regarding the hospital administration story line that began in season six.  One article noted that this story line that kicks off season six was a key indicator that Downton Abbey was taking it\’s final breath.  I disagree adamantly with this!  This story line plays out rather slowly, but it tackles several issues as it does so.  One that I enjoyed most was the political aspect of who should be more involved in the oversight of this industry and what path leads to the betterment of the health of the people.  In a battle between Violet and Isobel, in which everyone assumes that Violet is resisting change just to be obstinate, in the end you discover that is not her motive.  I remember in my first viewing of this season that I felt frustrated with Violet for her stubbornness, but when he true motive was revealed, I was on her side.

Secondly, the hospital story line feeds into the frustration that Lord Grantham feels when his wife essentially takes on a career in overseeing the hospital.  Much like in earlier seasons, when he becomes distressed and unhappy as a result of her \”negligence\” when helping during the war, Lord Grantham and his wife, through this story line, navigate through the changes in their marriage when the children are grown and Cora is eager to find something useful to do.  Lord Grantham\’s resentment becomes palpable and finally young Lady Rose, whose own parents have forever been at one another\’s throats, takes an opportunity to gentle show him that far from being unhappy with Cora, he should be proud of her.  This story line is central to seeing the growth in Lord Grantham as a person and the changes he and Cora go through in their marriage.

My personal opinion on a lot of the criticism is that it seems to come from people with no patience to see how a story unfolds or what impact it has on the development of characters or overall theme.  To each his own, but one of my favorite things about Downton is the slow changes over time, the waiting game on certain story lines, and the way things tie together.

One of my favorite aspects of Downton Abbey is that often the most climaxing parts of each episode actually occur off camera, while what viewers see is the fallout from these story lines.  For example, the weddings between Sybil and Tom, or Mary and Matthew, we see the lead up, we see some fallout, but we do not have to endure a drawn out wedding scene.  Julian Fellowes allows these things to take place in our imaginations, freeing up time for the dry humor and gossipy byplay that this series is so good at.  This post will contain spoilers for those who have not seen the series.

This tactic allows for a little extra mystery.  You\’ll see a scene where Mrs. Hughes gets ready to share the details of some scandal with Mr. Carson.  Before the cut scene, you get a glimpse of an expression on her face, but by the time the cameras return to this story line, the conversation is over and we are dealing with the reactions.  This affords us the opportunity to imagine Mr. Carson\’s response (in my imagination, always an excess of scandalized horror!), while at the same time sparing us the dialogue itself.

(Side note: I hate television shows with an excess of over-acted dialogue that does nothing to further character development.  TV is full of this, and that is why I do not have cable!)

For the most part, I believe this tactic on the part of the writer lends to how Downton Abbey can take such a huge cast of characters and progress and development them so well over time.  With only a few exceptions, most of the plot twists throughout Downton Abbey, even the somewhat absurd ones, lend themselves to character development, which I think should be at the heart of any plot twist.

The most glaring exception to this was the story line I discussed in my last post.  This story line made no ultimate change to the direction of the show, nor did it really develop any of the characters in a new way.  It was a demonstration of Edith\’s willingness to fall in love with an idea rather than have a vision of her own, but we already knew that quite well at that point.  This was part of why that story line perplexes me so much: what was the point of it?!

In quite the opposite fashion, one of my favorite story lines begins when Miss Bunting (who I never cared for) arrives on the scene and becomes Daisy\’s tutor.  This begins the creation of a new Daisy, one who is richer for her learning.  I\’m a feminist in only the most traditional sense of the word, and this evolution of Daisy\’s character delighted me.  Not only this, but the connection it had to Mr. Molesley and his own development; going from insecure house staff to educator.  Both Molesley and Daisy were richly developed through this story line, which was ongoing over the course of more than one season.

Because Downton was so good at this sort of ongoing, season-over-season character development, I am curious how they will take this from TV to a movie and accomplish the same thing.  This is part of what makes the prospect so exciting!

It has recently been announced that there will finally, officially be a Downton Abbey movie.  My love for this series must be well known, because at least five people sent me news articles to let me know!  In anticipation, I have been re-watching the series from the beginning (again), and I always find when I re-watch it reminds me of things I questioned at first, or detailed I may have missed.  If you have not watched the series in full, this post contains spoilers.

One of my newest pursuits, as I am done school and have a new and unfamiliar amount of free time, has been understanding baseball.  I am educating myself on its history, strategy, rules and analytics.  This is all in an attempt to successfully play Fantasy Baseball next year, but it also satisfies my love of math and statistics. 

Six months ago, what I knew about baseball could have been summed up by saying this: \”Some dude takes a bat and hits a ball and some other dude tries to catch it.\”  Not very intricate.

Over the last few weeks, I have watched Ken Burns\’ Baseball: A Film, which is a long series depicting the origins and history of baseball.  This series is so well done.  The commentary is fantastic, but best of all is the original (and probably quite rare) early photographs and footage.  This series educated me on the long history of baseball from its rules, the early players, stadiums, racial segregation and media coverage.

From there, I purchased myself a set of books to help me further educate myself.  The first that I have finished is Watching Baseball Smarter by Zack Hample.  This book, as he states himself, was written for both the serious baseball nuts and the beginners, such as myself.

This book gives an amazing amount of detail in a conversational way that was easy for me to follow.  There was casual overviews explaining basic rules that were new to me as a beginner, but then followed the more intricate details on rules and strategy.  I would often read a section, and then search YouTube to find a compilation of footage to demonstrate what I was reading.  As a non-visual thinker, this helped me get beyond the confusion and see it in action. 

The book went into detail about different positions, and now I finally understand why the catcher is so important.  I can now better understand why coaches and umpires make the decisions that they do.  I loved the explanations of the different strategies one might choose when there are two outs that you would never do if there were only one.  In general, I loved the introduction to baseball strategy.  I have always been a big fan of strategy games, beginning with Chess when I was a child.  Had I truly understood how strategic, intricate and statistical baseball was before, I would have become a fan much sooner!

This was a great, easy to read book for someone like me who went into it knowing very little.  The author is clearly a huge baseball fan, and writes of it with passion and without condescension.  He uses humor and casual language, going from serious strategy to humorous facts swiftly.  It was the perfect start to my baseball reading this summer and will give me a foundation to understand the other books on my list.

As my life as a graduate student comes to an end, I am surprised to find myself in my current mental and emotional state.  I fully expected to be overjoyed, bouncing off the walls and brimming with excitement, but so far I just feel tired (and many of my classmates have mirrored this sentiment)! 

Perhaps I need a few more days to let it sink in that I have achieved this major accomplishment.  Not that I am so much smarter now that I have a master\’s degree (though, let\’s be honest, I am), but I have reached the finish line in a long race.  I have written thousands upon thousands of words and read even more in case studies, compiled projects and participated in what seems like countless academic discussions.  I have become a little more of who I am as a person, as a student and most of all, as a leader.  As different theories have resonated with me, I can feel that I am truly better equipped now to move forward in my career.

But at the same time, my academic pursuits have been a security blanket.  An excuse for me to be at home.  An excuse not to risk my time or my money on different types of goals.  An excuse to turn down uncertain opportunities with a casual, \”Oh, I can\’t right now, I\’m in grad school.\”

How many times have I uttered those words?

And in truth, I have been in school while working full time for the past seven years.  While my undergraduate work was less time consuming, it was no less an excuse and a security blanket.  And so for the first time since my mid-twenties, I have an abundance of free time. 

Now what?

I have wisely, I believe, taken some time to rest.  And for me, rest rarely involves sleeping or idleness.  The past two weekends I have walked many miles, enjoying the heat and the sun, thinking this very question to myself.  And in my imagination I have found many old dreams and goals that I now intend to dig out, dust off and devote myself to with the same enthusiasm and diligence that I have to my other pursuits.

I want to write another book.  I want to learn to (finally) play my guitar competently.  I want to travel somewhere entirely by myself and experience what that feels like.  I want to teach others.  I want to learn new things about life, not theories in a book and not even about work, but the sweeter things of life that make it worth living.

I get to add the letters MSM behind my name, and that is a great thrill to me.  Greater still is the thrill of filling my time with new adventures, investing in my family and my friendships, and chasing always after new and different goals.

I have succeeded in my goal, only to find that is the beginning again.