I recently read an article on Forbes that made me scoff repeatedly throughout, an article about the importance of establishing a morning routine. I am often curious about the daily routines of successful people; what they read and when they exercise, and so on. It can only help me find inspiration to improve my own routines. However, this particular article made me roll my eyes at how terribly undisciplined adults have become.

The article talks about tips for making sure you get yourself out of bed on time every day, including having a bed time routine. Adults must be told this?  I require my own epiphany on this topic, which occurred when I was in the 11th grade. Actually, I knew it long before this, but I had a defining experience in chemistry class early one morning in 11th grade and caused me to commit to a disciplined bedtime routine.

I had worked late the night before, and had come home wanting to wind down a bit before I went to bed. I woke up for school the next morning on so little sleep that during my first period chemistry class my eyes hurt trying to keep them open. I struggled in chemistry, and I didn\’t need this added burden. From that point on, I committed to a bedtime routine. I find 7 hours to be optimal sleep for me, and I ensure that I build this into my nighttime schedule. This isn\’t a \”life hack\” as the article claims – this is common sense we should have hopefully acquired before becoming adults.

Another \”tip\” on this list is ensuring your alarms in the morning are configured in such a way to make sure you don\’t just hit snooze repeatedly and never wake up. One piece of advice is putting your alarm across the room, forcing you to wake up. This again just speaks to me about lack of discipline. I set two alarms everyday (my phone and my Fitbit) but neither alarm actually has to go off in the morning. My sleep schedule has become part of my biological rhythm – as they say it will if you commit to it – and now I wake up before my alarm every day, no matter for what time it is set. I have never hit snooze. I go to bed and set my alarms allowing myself the amount of sleep I need, and when it\’s time to get up, I get up. Proverbs 20:13: \”Do not love sleep or you will grow poor.\”

The article goes on with more \”advice\” on making sure you dress appropriately for work and not arriving late because you can\’t get yourself together on time. It reminds you that eating breakfast and exercise can be good ways to start the day. Shocking.

I can see some of this being useful advice for teenagers or even young college students, but I fear more and more people are undisciplined about their morning habits.

Shortly after this I read a thread of comments on this topic and was relieved to discover many people chiming in to state that this was pretty elementary stuff and we should be aiming for more than scrambling out of bed and sliding into clothes to get out the door for work. Those first moments of the day do set the tone. Maybe it\’s not the same for everyone. Some people want to walk their dogs, or do yoga, or cook a hearty breakfast and watch the morning news. Maybe it\’s not what I would do, but I think it\’s important we have some higher goal than an exhaustive morning scramble to work everyday.

We all need money to make a living.  I have bills to pay and I am blessed that I have never had to default on my bills (despite difficult times).  I have my personal preferences for brands – I do not buy a lot but I like to buy nice things: brand name sunglasses and perfume.  I even have a side hustle (more on that later!) where I have a lot of fun making a little extra money.

But money is not what motivates me.  In most instances, for me money is the necessity to make a living.  I am economical, easy to please and good at managing my resources.  My entire living room is furnished with hand me down furniture that I mixed and matched to make a comfy home.  I buy my jeans and dresses on eBay.  I cook at home.  I live simply and therefore do not require a ton of money to make a happy life.

In the workplace, leaders are always trying to find ways to motivate their employees and for many people tangible incentives and money are the primary motivators.  When budgets are tight, that is difficult to manage because inspiring people through intrinsic motivators can be tough when they are used to or prefer the tangibles.

This is perhaps what makes me so difficult for people to understand.  I do place a certain value on my education, experience and aptitude; economically, I believe this combination warrants a certain minimum level of compensation in order for it to make sense.  But what I truly value, what motivates me, is being trusted with meaningful work, and being recognized for a job well done.

I recognize that when higher level leaders are looking at their teams that maybe I am difficult to analyze.  I become dissatisfied not when overworked, but rather when not entrusted with meaningful work, when left to become bored or when I am not recognized for what I have accomplished.  Furthermore, I become frustrated knowing that I openly communicate what motivates me and what is important to me and those needs are still not met.

I find it immensely rewarding to be trusted with a function, project or team and enabled to manage it without interference and then rewarded with a simple \”well done\” at the end.  Recently, I received a message of simple but heartfelt praise from a corporate leader where I work and that meant more to me than the raise I got this year.

The simplicity of it, combined with the fact that it costs absolutely nothing to do, is what creates such intense misery and low morale within me when it does not occur.  As a leader, I understand this and I am mindful to celebrate all of my team\’s wins, big and small.

Dear Sixteen Year Old Me,

I know life is awful.  You are unpopular and often ridiculed.  People say things like \”high school is the best time of your life\” and you worry that if this is the best then what hell is going to happen next.  You are berated and picked on for your looks, your interests, even your work ethic.  The boys you like never like you back.  You work long hours after work, which almost saves you from having to explain having no social life.  Sometimes even against your nature, you cry before school because it\’s such a misery to you.

You won\’t believe it, but in the years to come, this will be a small blip in your rear view mirror.  You will grow and thrive in adult situations, having been prepared for this throughout your childhood.  You will leave high school a capable person, academically accomplished but also with a practical knowledge about the world that will give you peace of mind.

You are counting the days until school is over, but your educational journey has a long way to go yet.  You will literally \”master\” certain concepts, you will go for decades on a continuing education journey.  But those days will not involve being bullied in P.E. class.  Instead, you will be a valued, logical contributor. 

Embrace all the ways that you are different from everyone else.  Everything that makes you a \”loser\” in this environment will make you a winner in the future.  Retain your outspoken nature!  The ridicule you face for speaking up in tough situations now will be of such value to you in the future.  You don\’t know it, but you are gaining courage by doing this!  In years to come, you will take hard stands on important issues, and you will be able to do so without trepidation.

You sit here staring blankly into a math textbook, but you will make decisions down the road that will make not only make you a \”whiz\” but you will gain confidence in overcoming such a huge mental hurdle in your life.  Believe it or not, others will look to you for tutoring help in math.  You can do anything you put your mind to.

The boy that targets and harasses you, pushes you and belittles you will grow up to be a deadbeat, and you will grow up to be accomplished.  Don\’t let his behavior change how you feel about yourself.

You have one friend in high school, and I can tell you, she will be your only friend from this era of your life.  But she will be a lifelong friend, as close as family, and will stand by you during your darkest and toughest times.  Cherish her.

At sixteen, you are neither plain nor a typical \”high school beauty.\”  You worry you blend in, then you worry you stick out like a sore thumb. Learn that beauty is subjective.  But do not worry, you will soon learn that confidence is the most beautiful feature any woman can have, and you will soon be draped in it.

You are so far ahead that you are lapping others, but you only see it as if you are behind.  Just be yourself.  Don\’t hold back who you are.  You are building a foundation that will one day make an impact in people\’s lives.  Be happy!  You will find success and love and a balance of self-contentment and ambition that will give you a full life. 

Do not let the darkness of this time in your life put out the fire in you.  Shine on!

From,
You in Twenty Years

It is surprising to me that sometimes organizational leaders are unaware that they are tolerating (or have created) a toxic culture.  I recognize that senior leaders are not mired in the weeds on a day to day basis and they perhaps don\’t get enough face time with people to see the early decline in morale, but the signs of a bad culture can sometimes be spotted by just looking around.

I\’ve had discussions about this with leaders within my organization as well as outside of it.  Someone once made a comment about the state of the bathrooms and my first reaction was, \”people who are proud of where they work don\’t do that.\”

I made the comment off the cuff and sort of flippantly but the more I think about it the more I realize that it is true.  There are a lot of things people do in their behaviors or the way they present themselves and their work spaces that indicate they do not have any pride in their job.

Disgruntled employees can be occasional.  Every workplace has someone who is miserable and shows no interest.  The problem for the organization is when this becomes the norm.  What is worse is when other employees find the behaviors so norm.  I recall a time I was in an elevator and there was quite a mess left in there, no doubt intentionally, by another employee.  The only the worse than the mess left behind was my absolute lack of shock about it.  I barely took notice.  It had become the norm to me.

I think of the people I know who all love what they do, that feel passionate about it, that excel in their jobs and they all have something in common: they approach it with a sense of pride.  They dress in a manner that reflect their interest in their job.  They look tidy and clean.  They maintain a clean and organized work space.  These people are contributing to a positive culture.

However, when this become scant in the workplace, there is a culture problem.  And a negative culture impacts even the most resilient workers.  I always feel like I am fairly resilient against a negative culture.  My best quality in the workplace, in my opinion, is my genuine enthusiasm.  However, there was a time when I felt so beaten down, I packed my personal belongings in a box and took them home.  All I left in my work space were the things I needed for work.  I no longer felt like having a photo of my dogs at my desk, because I no longer felt or wanted to feel attached to my workplace.  That was a hard day for me, because it is very unlike me to lose my enthusiasm so sharply.

I hate it when senior leaders seem blind to the things going on around them.  Happy and engaged employees don\’t show up in sweat pants and leave trash in the hallways.  They take pride in their workplace.  I think we should be shocked when people demonstrate disgusting behaviors at work (such as some of the things I have seen in the bathrooms). The sad part is when the shock goes away, and it becomes typical. 

Leadership need to be more tuned in to what is going on around them and address the cultural breakdown before it gets unbearable.

Seventeen years ago today, I moved to the United States; an immigrant filled with hope and uncertainty!

I feel grateful that in these times of political turmoil over immigration that I am a libertarian and uncommitted to the staunch political ideals of Democrats and Republicans on the immigration issue.

We discuss immigration often in terms of statues, laws, permits and authorizations and we forget the humanity that lives behind those documents, sometimes in fear.  I may not necessarily look the part of a struggling immigrant, but I too have felt that fear.

From a theoretical perspective, I believe in an ordered method for documenting who is in the country.  We should know who is here.  I also believe many of the laws we have in place, even those in place to show compassion to those who came here as children, fail to provide a final solution to the immigration problem.  This leaves many people feeling like they have no other home, and yet no path to citizenship in this country where they act as contributors.

I know many immigrants from different countries.  While I do not discount that some immigrants are lazy criminals, the ones I have known are hard working contributors to this country.  Taxpayers, paying into a support system that in many cases they are not eligible to draw from.  Many of them are required to pay international student tuition rates, even when they live in town.

My own path through the immigration journey, which may seem fairly unremarkable on the outside, came with it\’s share of tribulation.  Over the course of my journey, I was on renewing visas, I had an expired visa for some period of time (please read here that this means that for some time I was considered \”undocumented\”), I have been in a green card queue, and a citizenship queue.  When I became eligible to apply for a green card through marriage to an American, he was required to sign an affidavit stating that he would support me financially, that I would not be a burden on the welfare system and that if I did apply for support he would pay it back on my behalf.  For many years I was unable to work.  I was forced to leave school at one point.  I have held my breath going through immigration check points.

Meanwhile, my family members and I have been here these nearly two decades, paying taxes, volunteering in our communities and trying to contribute in a meaningful way.  On the other hand, we have been unable to vote.  As a student in undergrad and graduate school, there were scholarships I was not eligible for because I was not a citizen.  I have never complained about these things, as I understand I am here by choice.  But it does make it difficult to not be a burden when some of the opportunities are withheld.

All along, I have been as independent as possible.  I have never held a student loan, despite achieving 3 degrees in this country.  I carry almost no personal debt (besides my mortgage, where I have never missed a payment).  In times where my husband made barely $14/hr, we scraped by when I was not allowed to work, living off ground chuck and Hamburger Helper, never once being allowed to or attempting to seek financial aid.  On the contrary, my entire family, even in difficult times, have done our best to be as charitable as possible.  My dad set a wonderful example in this.  My brother, a permanent resident (green card holder), is self-employed and through his work employs a group of Americans who, off of his talent and hard work, are then able to earn a living as well.

The faces of immigration are all different.  We all have stories.  Many of us have done our hell bent best to do so within the limits of the law.  Many others are here by no choice of their own, eager for a productive, American life.  We need laws, but we need pathways.  We need reason, but we also need humanity.  And lest we forget, let\’s remember the words on the plaque that sat at the base of the Statue of Liberty (which most people cut short, irritatingly):

I was born in the early 1980s, making me an early millennial (or perhaps a Xennial if you subscribe to this theory of a subjoining micro generation between generation X and the millennials).  I don\’t demonstrate many of the characteristics associated with millenials, and sometimes I wonder how I came by some of the positions that I currently hold – a modern woman in a modern world, but with some very traditional ideas.  Many millennials were born to generation Xers, but my parents are both baby boomers.

My father was born immediately after WWII.  His dad was a laborer throughout the war, possibly as a civilian in the armed forces.  As soon as the chaos of the war period died down, in the enthusiasm of peacetime, he celebrated with his wife and she conceived, probably rather unexpectedly, as she was 41 years old when my dad was born.

My dad\’s father and mother were born in 1904 and 1905, respectively.  They were married in 1930 and had a few children through the the thirties, two of which did not survive childhood.  My dad is truly one of the first baby boomers, a late life child to his parents.

My dad was 37 when I was born, so perhaps not a late life baby to him, times had changed by the 1980s, but he was certainly an older and more traditional father than the types of fathers my friends had.  Furthermore, my dad was not raised by a man born in the roaring twenties, but by a man who was a fully grown family man when the difficulties of the Great Depression struck.

I feel the influence of being only two generations from the start of the 20th century.  My paternal grandparents were a part of the Interbellum Generation, those who came of age between the first and second world wars.  When I think about what my grandparents must have seen, it\’s sort of startling to think about.  The Interbellums were the first generation to start using cars as their primary source of transportation.  This means that in their early childhood they may have used horses, and grew up with parents that were having to adjust to this new way of life.

The folks of these generations experienced the social, political and economic changes of the 1920s and the challenges of the 1930s.  They raised children as the world entered WWII. They saw amazing advancements in technology, and yet probably (at least in the case of my dad\’s parents) did not live long enough to own a personal computer.  They saw the atomic bomb, prohibition, segregation, automation, everything from the implementation of the first telephones to the earliest man-made satellites.  I wonder how my dad\’s mother felt when, at the age of 14, Canadian women were granted the right to vote.  How did she feel knowing she was growing up in a new age of women\’s rights?

I never met my dad\’s father, he died in 1978 at the age of 73.  I have seen photos of him as an adult and my dad looks like him and I can even see myself in him a little, which feels strange.  He was a handsome man, uneducated, hard working.  There is a funny story about my grandfather.  He left school at the age of 9, and went to work in a factory as a sweeper.  He brought his earnings home to his mother every week, who then gave him back one nickel to buy tobacco.  A 9 year old factory worker, smoking tobacco.  It paints an interesting picture of the times.

He did a lot of manual labor work throughout his life, and my dad had a lot of respect for the provider that his father was.  My dad\’s mom was…a bit of a kook, based on the stories I am told, but from all accounts his parents loved one another.  His mom described his dad as being very handsome and that the counter that led to my dad\’s birth was like \”a second honeymoon.\”  They were Catholics, sending my dad to Catholic schools, which in the 50\’s were a rather strict way to get educated.  His mother died when I was a small child, and I regret that I couldn\’t have personally known these two people better, who were such a strong influence on a man who was such a strong influence on me.

I think about who my dad was, a staunch traditionalist in so many ways, but yet always tech savvy, having always owned (and even built) his own personal computers.  My dad was also not college educated – and in fact dropped out of high school numerous times to pursue a musical career – but my dad was always so proud and supportive of higher education for his children.  My dad did manual labor, suffering an accident that left him with a permanent handicap in his twenties (he lost a hand), but my dad was very resilient through this challenge (I never knew him with both hands and so his way of doing things seemed very normal to me).  He was a wild musician, an insurance salesman, and later in life the stay at home parents who home schooled his children.  My dad could be stubborn as hell in altering his opinion but was open to change, including moving to a new country.  He was a baby boomer, a lifelong hippie, a techie, a parent to millennials, and always the son of older parents who lived a very modest life.   My dad was a bridge between my life now in 2019, and my grandfather, who came of age shortly after WWI.

The last time my dad spoke to me about his parents they had been gone for over thirty years.  He never idealized his parents.  He saw them for who they were and he loved them.  He would get a wistful expression as he told us stories and would say, \”I miss my parents every single day.\”  They clearly helped shape him into who he was, and my dad helped to shape me.

So nowadays, when people make the comment that I fall into the millennial category, I sometimes say, \”That is true, but I was raised by a man who was raised by a man born in 1904, and that influence can definitely be felt in my life.\”

Any acknowledgement of the strong women in my life would be incomplete without mentioning the strongest influence I have had in this: my mom.

Growing up, I think I felt like everyone had a life and parents like mine.  We didn\’t have a lot of money, I figured no one did.  My parents were fairly strict but also easy going, I thought everyone\’s were.  My family faced a lot of hardships with my dad\’s health, but my mom always remained so calm that I thought this was just normal.  It wasn\’t until I was in my pre-teens I think that I started realizing that my family was odd!

My mom had a difficult upbringing, to understate it.  She did not grow up the way I did, in a secure and loving home, having some degree of certainty.  As a little girl when my mom would challenge me to try things I remember thinking to myself, \”my mom would never let anything bad happen to me.\”  I don\’t believe my mom grew up with this same confidence.

Of course, the woman I know as my mom today is someone she has grown into over the years.  I did not know her when she was twenty years old, and she will be the first to say that she is not now who she was then.  My mom made choices: choices to live a different life than what she had known as a child.  My mom made choices about who she would marry and how they would raise their children, sometimes making huge sacrifices to do so, but my mom took ownership of those choices.  She made decisions about her career progression, sometimes difficult.  When I was six years old, my dad had a stroke and for some time was incapacitated by it.  My mom was only thirty years old at the time, pregnant with her third child, working very hard to make ends meet.  I remember certain things about this time period very vividly: my mom\’s calm demeanor (despite what she must have been feeling), three meals a day, a sense of security every night at bedtime.  This was not a given, my mom chose to make these things the reality for her children, and I think about myself now, older than she was then, and I cannot begin to comprehend how difficult it must have been.

I have also had the special privilege of working closely with my mom in a professional setting for the last twenty years.  When I was sixteen, she recommended me for a job in billing at the lab where she worked.  For three years there I learned about management and leadership by observing her.  After relocating to Texas, I did the same thing, working along side her.  She took time to teach me aspects of the job far outside of my own scope, giving me a broad knowledge of the business that I wouldn\’t otherwise have.  In my current job, I view her as one of my most valued business partners.  We share information to make decisions.  We use each other as a sounding board for ideas and feedback.  We support one another in taking a tough stance when no one else will do so.

It would not be an overstatement to say that so much of who I am professionally is a direct product of her time, leadership and support.  There are challenges to working alongside your high performing, outspoken mother, but those challenges are so far overshadowed by the benefits.

In more recent years, as my dad\’s health declined, I watched my mom again.  She had long been the provider and care giver in the family, a role she never complained about.  She handled the challenges of his health at the end with grace and adapted to her new life after his passing with real courage.  She has never once uttered the words that life is unfair to her. Quite the contrary, she describes herself as extraordinarily blessed.

We all gain strength in different ways and by different influences. My mom will no doubt attribute much of her own strength to the love and support of my dad, who opened her eyes to a different life than she had ever dreamed.  She has also sought out professional mentors over the years who have empowered her to make decisions and speak up.  My mom would also state (as did my dad) that the legacy that she is most proud of is that she has four highly productive, functional and accomplished children, and that we are the living proof of the good choices that they made together.

I laugh when I think that my mom today is silly, hilarious, sometimes crazy.  Sometimes in a meeting I will roll my eyes and she was erupt into laughter.  I think that my mom is known in these two ways: she is sometimes the only one in the room to speak up about the difficult thing, but her preference is to make her life and her work fun for everyone.

Is my mother perfect? No.  And I do not believe I am portraying her through an idealized perspective.  But when people complain to me about how they have no choices or \”I just wasn\’t raised that way\” I always think about my mom.  She wasn\’t raised that way either.  She made hard choices to have a different life, but those choices have paid off.  To me that is the epitome of female empowerment and strength.

Continuing in my series about strong women, I am focusing on a woman today that I have only recently been blessed to know.  I actually hired this woman six months ago, and I sometimes wonder if in my long working life to come if I will always look back on hiring her as one of my wisest choices.

She is a young woman, newly married, an expectant mother.  Like me, she is also an immigrant to this country.  Like me, she was raised to be a contributor.  Not even yet six months with the company, she has long been independent and rising to the expectations.  She takes on new tasks and challenges, she figures out who she needs to talk to, she communicates effectively, closes the loop.  She makes my life easier when I don\’t have to worry about things being handled correctly.

I think of many women I have known that are my age and younger, many of whom have a certain millennial sense of entitlement.  I have seen many women in this age group whine (literally) that they are \”too young\” for the heavy responsibilities of life, marriage, the workplace, and so on.  This woman does not do that.  In recently months she has been under the mounting pressures that come with life, including her pregnancy, and in all of it she remains composed, pleasant, and hard working.  She has had perfect attendance at work and has maintained an excellent record.

She is a very small person physically.  Even pregnant, she is petite and dainty.  But this is not indicative of her personality or capabilities.  She is a strong, direct, and assertive person, in a quiet and patient manner.

Like most of the women I admire, what impresses me most is not her capabilities (of which she has many), but her attitude when bearing up under difficult circumstances.  All of her perseverance and drive, her intellect, and her excellent work ethic would not shine as brightly if not lit by her incredible attitude.  She takes ownership of her life choices.  She is cheerful and respectful to others even when she has the world on her shoulders.  In this way, despite her individuality, she is similar to the other strong women I admire.  She doesn\’t make excuses. 

I see this young woman and all of her potential and it is a privilege to watch her blossom.  I fully expect motherhood will only add to the sense of purpose that she has and the quiet strength she demonstrates each day.

I continue to reflect on the strong women that I know and who have influenced and inspired me.  As I examine these women they share certain traits but in other ways they are dramatically different.

Today I am reflecting on my best friend.  In some ways, she is a feisty, opinionated, outspoken woman who isn\’t afraid to express herself.  In others, she is soft, compassionate and serves others.

She is a hard worker and a provider for her family, but not in a traditional sense.  She takes care of others, though she is a single woman with no children.  She has chosen this freely, empowered not to feel burdened to live up to someone else\’s expectation of womanhood.  She takes pleasure in being an aunt – a cool and indulgent aunt, helping influence the children she is around to grow up to be funny, capable, confident adults.

She excels at what she does in her career, being sought for promotions rather than seeking them.  She isn\’t afraid of early mornings or long hours, and I somehow always find myself quick to connect to people who can function well early in the morning.  She is intelligent, real-world savvy, informed and responsible – all while maintaining a wild sense of humor and cheerful attitude.

I remember my first ever encounter with her when we were sixteen years old.  She exudes this sense of intrigue, fun and good humor, and I was captivated by her from the first meeting.  She has an aggression in her passion that is moderated by her tenderness for children, the elderly and animals.  She can be hard on others, but she also never hesitates to take responsibility for her own flaws and failings.

I love how she manages her time.  She knows when something isn\’t a priority to her and she doesn\’t mince words about it.  I am not sure I have ever heard her use \”busy\” as an excuse.  She either makes time for what is important or admits something is not important. To me, that is strength.  Being honest, no excuses.

Even when she is facing a hectic schedule, she copes cheerfully.  In twenty years, I have hardly known her to take the frustrations of her day out on others.  She internalizes her stress, accepts it and moves on without letting it become something with which to damage others.

In our many years as friends, I have seen her cope with loss, fears, uncertainty and frustration with composure.  My family praise her for her enthusiasm.  I love how she loves people as they are, not blind to their flaws, but not attempting to change them either.  She truly treats others as one would want to be treated, with accountability, respect and unconditional love.

I have been reflecting how fortunate I have been to know and be influenced by so many strong women in my life – and men that support and empower those women as well.  As a woman, I am very supportive of true female equality.  I do not tend to embrace all of the modern aspects of the feminist movement, but I am aligned with the traditional tenets of female equality.  I believe men and women are different in many ways, in necessary ways, that in teams and friendships and families those differences complement one another.

Strong women are not always the same, but they share certain traits.  Resiliency, adaptability, personal accountability, true kindness (and not superficial \’sweetness\’) are some of those threads that seem to be common throughout the strong women I know.

I want to shine a light on those women, as they have inspired me and influenced me, and continue daily to make an impact on my life.

The first woman I thought of when thinking about this series of posts was a woman I met through my sister.  Truthfully, I don\’t know her as well as I wish I did, but have enjoyed getting to know her and benefit from her personality and talents.

Even just on the surface she is impressive.  She is an accomplished and highly educated accountant.  In the early stages of getting to know her, it was obvious that she is well read, well traveled and very articulate.  She is also a skilled photographer.  But going deeper than that, she is a great mother.  She balances her career and motherhood with grace.  She exudes gratefulness.  She balances good humor with a practical approach to life, including parenting.  She has a curiosity about learning things that I absolutely in everyone I see who has it.

Like everyone, she has had sorrow and setbacks in her life – especially losing both of her parents fairly young.  Strength is not achieved through an easy life, but rather through overcoming challenges.  I love how she has taken ownership of her feelings, her influences and her choices.  She recognizes that not everyone will agree with her, but she presses on anyway.  She balances her accomplishments with humility.  She recognizes and appreciates what keeps her strong when she feels overwhelmed with grief.

She made a comment to me recently that I loved.  We were commiserating about how we are both perceived as being nerdy.  She was a good student, and she maintains a passion for extended learning.  She reads extensively and listens to audio books and shares the things she is reading.  We agreed that not everyone appreciates this \”nerdy\” side of us, but these traits are the foundation that make her the accomplished woman she is today.  You cannot appreciate the accomplishment without appreciating the core of who she is and how she achieved it.

I have slowly gotten to know her through sharing of social media posts and occasional meetings over the last several years.  She is eclectic, intelligent and fun to be around.  She exudes a sense of thankfulness for what she has, even as she reflects on sorrow or regret.  She owns the path that she has chosen, which I think is a defining factor for every strong woman I know.  We must own the choices we have made, our mistakes, our regrets, and learn from them and move forward.

Her grace as a woman – in her career, in how she parents, in how she lives for her passions – inspire me with every encounter.  She appreciates the people in her life who share their stories, their passions and their achievements.  She leaves no room for envy in this, but instead a sense of celebration for others.  I feel blessed to know her.