I am back to work again today after the holidays and one of my tasks (a fun one!) is updating my name in the systems and signatures following my New Year’s nuptials.
A colleague of mine recently went through this as well. In fact we both got divorced around the same time in 2020 and she got remarried 4 months ago. The professional quandary of wanting to take your married name but all your clients know you under a different name. She’s given me some good advice.
Another interesting thing is dealing with the shock and possibly judgement of having eloped. The “is it too soon?” expressions, or “you didn’t want a wedding?” But no one can possibly understand anyone else’s actual situation, and I’m not here to be understood.
I’m just here to be happy.
Happier, in fact, than I can ever remember being. More loved. More appreciated for who I am. More respected. More at peace.
My sister married her second husband back in 2021, and that, too, set a good example. She had not initiated her divorce, but quickly showed resilience. She met her current husband – who is a much better match for her in a million ways – 6 months after they initiated separation. She did a fantastic job of letting her new man be himself and never tried to hold against him things her ex had done/not done. She let him help her heal from the damage done by a marriage that wasn’t healthy. And she embraced this new life where she’s successful in both her corporate job and as an entrepreneur, happy, and supported and loved by a man who appreciates her.
And that’s my goal too. I start this new year with more than a new name. It’s my chance to do things better. To continue growing into who I am meant to be. Since I met my new husband I’ve been writing more and better. I’ve gotten better as a person. My faith has grown tremendously. I, too, get the chance to be loved properly. And to do a better job at loving back.
And we all deserve that.
Anna Farley 